Rev. José Mario O. Mandía
jmom.honlam.org
The CCC (no. 2363) teaches us that marriage has a twofold end: (1) the good of the spouses, and (2) the good of the children (transmission of life).
This explains why the Church also teaches that the conjugal act has a twofold meaning. “The conjugal act has a twofold meaning: (1) unitive (the mutual self-giving of the spouses) and (2) procreative (an openness to the transmission of life). No one may break the inseparable connection which God has established between these two meanings of the conjugal act by excluding one or the other of them” (CCCC 496).
This twofold end brings with it some obligations, “goods of conjugal love to which sexuality is ordered” or directed (CCCC 495).
What are these goods? “The goods of conjugal love, which for those who are baptized is sanctified by the sacrament of Matrimony, are [1] unity, [2] fidelity, [3] indissolubility, and [4] an openness to the procreation of life” (CCCC 495).
(1) Unity: marriage is between one man and one woman.
(2) Fidelity: “Both give themselves definitively and totally to one another. They are no longer two; from now on they form one flesh. The covenant they freely contracted imposes on the spouses the obligation to preserve it as unique and indissoluble” (CCC 2364).
(3) Indissolubility: when husband and wife come together in marriage, their bond is sealed by God. Hence, there are three parties in the marriage and the bond made cannot be broken by just two of the three. Thus, the Scripture clearly teaches (Mark 10:9; cf. Matthew 19:1-12; 1 Corinthians 7:10-11): “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
(4) Openness to the procreation of life. Children are the fruit of the love not only of husband and wife but of the love of God who is one of the parties in the marriage. Each of the parties – husband, wife, God – has a contribution to make.
“Fecundity is a gift, an end of marriage, for conjugal love naturally tends to be fruitful. A child does not come from outside as something added on to the mutual love of the spouses, but springs from the very heart of that mutual giving, as its fruit and fulfillment” (CCC 2366).
Children are God-given. “A child is a gift of God, the supreme gift of marriage. There is no such thing as a right to have children (e.g. ‘a child at any cost’). But a child does have the right to be the fruit of the conjugal act of its parents as well as the right to be respected as a person from the moment of conception” (CCCC 500).
There is a pervading mentality that equates pets with children. We must say that pets are not children and children are not pets. In an audience on January 4, 2022, Pope Francis remarked that nowadays, “we see a form of selfishness … We see that people do not want to have children,” he said.
“Sometimes they have only one (child) and that’s it, but they have two dogs, two cats. Yes, dogs and cats take the place of children…. Yes, it’s funny, I understand, but it is the reality.”
The Pope added that “is a denial of fatherhood and motherhood and diminishes us, takes away our humanity.”
Is it moral to regulate births? “The regulation of births, which is an aspect of responsible fatherhood and motherhood, is objectively morally acceptable when it is pursued by the spouses without external pressure; when it is practiced not out of selfishness but for serious reasons; and with methods that conform to the objective criteria of morality, that is, periodic continence and use of the infertile periods” (CCCC 497).
How about if the spouses are not able to have children? What can they do? “Should the gift of a child not be given to them, after exhausting all legitimate medical options, spouses can show their generosity by way of foster care or adoption or by performing meaningful services for others. In this way they realize a precious spiritual fruitfulness” (CCCC 501).
(Main image: Trung Nguyen@pexels.com)
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