Teresa Lo
In recent years, the retreats I took are individually guided, meaning a spiritual director would devote time to listening to my daily prayer and giving me guidance and bible verses for meditation accordingly.
In summer I had a two-week staycation and longed to make time for God. I came to Vila São José solo, and spent a self-directed three-day retreat.
Having had a restful night, I woke up at six thirty, feeling the urge to give nature a heartfelt embrace. I breezed into the balcony of the dining room with a hot cup of tea, immersed myself with the sweet trilling of the sparrows and the natural fragrance of the trees.
This was just what I needed, to withdraw myself from the hubbub of the larger environment, to be alone in the wondrous space of God, to allow things to surface and to look back with God over the past.
After breakfast, I thought to myself that I should begin my prayer in the chapel, so I brought my bible and sat close to the statue of the Holy Family. Of course, it was a statue with Joseph, Mary and Little Jesus, yet, I began to notice an attraction in the mutual gaze of Joseph and Jesus. They were looking at each other tenderly and lovingly as if they had a great deal to share with each other.
In my meditation, I pictured Joseph doing his daily duties faithfully, and Little Jesus fixing his eyes on the beautiful pieces of carpentry.
Standing next to Joseph, I then asked, “How do you two get along with each other? “
In a friendly and fatherly voice, Joseph replied, “I always look at Little Jesus. He shows keen interest in every piece I make, but since the saw poses danger to children, I need to keep him safe. So, I cannot take my eyes off him. Well, being his guardian is a job I am so proud of! His lovely look and curious eyes take my heart away. Love is flowing in me when being with him. A love too sweet to tell.”
Contemplating the family time Joseph and Jesus spent with each other, I could sense myself being surrounded in a circle of love, listening to their conversation, and feeling the power of their affectionate gaze.
Joseph got unspeakable joy in looking at Jesus, which reminded me of the beauty of contemplation as described by Jesuit theologian Walter Burghardt. Contemplation, in the words of Burghardt, meant taking a “long, loving look at the real.”
I gazed at the Lord with gratitude. I heard a voice echoing in my heart, “You wrote a thank-you card to each colleague before departure. Take a moment and contemplate on that. How do you feel now?”
What a good question to ponder!
I did not take much thought on noticing how I really felt in the act of writing the cards. The Holy Spirit signaled to me that I might want to go over this scenario within God’s larger gaze.
Each of my colleagues’ faces then resurfaced, bobbing gently up and down in the sea of love. I saw in them a passion to commit oneself to God, a generosity to serve the Church and a sacrifice to work steadfastly for the souls. Indeed, no words could express that appreciation and gratitude! Love makes everything complete.
I was so grateful that I made the decision to make a retreat in Vila São José, sinking into the loving gaze of God – and surprisingly discovered a space of love where the grace of goodness in relationship was in store for me.
“Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5)
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