[圖片來源]Free-Photos at Pixabay
– FAUSTO GOMEZ OP
Some time ago, I attended a symposium sponsored by the University of Saint Joseph in Macau on the social services provided to the elderly in China, Hong Kong, and Macau. A surprising question I asked: “Are the elderly happy?” The surveys – the speakers told us – do not ask this question. It is, however, a crucial question: Are the seniors among us happy? Am I happy?
I remember the words of Fr Teodoro González OP, when I (then 47 years old) visited our Dominican convent in San Cristobal (Venezuela) in January 1985: “Préparate a ser un buen viejo” – prepare yourself to be a good old man. Wise words, indeed. I repeat often the request of the two travelers to the companion who joined them on the journey from Jerusalem to Emmaus (not knowing yet that he was the Risen Lord): Stay with us, Lord, for it I getting late.
Becoming older, aging well as old people is not an easy task. Senior citizens may go through one, or two, or three different crises, as pointed up by different authors: the crisis of identity, the crisis of autonomy, and the crisis of belonging (J. A Pagola).
ACCEPTING THAT ONE IS OLD
The first time I truly felt that I was getting older was when I celebrated my 40th in Madrid (I was enjoying then a scholarship in social ethics). Until then age did not matter to me. All of a sudden at 40 I felt older. I realized existentially the truth of the proverbial Roman saying: Tempus fugit! Time passes quickly!
The second station was when I celebrated my 60th, and the next station, at 80. This time, I really felt my old age: I was really old! Just in case I might forget it, some people around me remind me constantly of my age. The wise man says: “Do not complain because you are growing older; this is a privilege denied to many.” I take the advice of Dan Buettner, a New York Times best-selling author, and founder and CEO of Blue Zones, discovered through his outstanding research that the eldest living people have a strong sense of purpose, stay active, eat healthy foods and practice a faith tradition, among other key traits. For Christians, for me, Jesus is the healthiest and happiest way of living!
I love the letter novelist and Nobel Prize forLiterature Gabriel García Márquez wrote to his friends, after knowing that, due to a cancer, his end might be near. I remember these lines: “My God, if I had a heart, I would write my hatred on ice and wait for the sun to come out.” (Dios mío, si yo tuviera un corazón, / escribiría mi odio en el hielo, / y esperaría que saliera el sol.)
How do I feel right now? Certainly, I am growing older: my body is slower, my memory, particularly of names, is decreasing, and although I do not like to think about it much or often, I am aware that I am in the last lap of my life journey. It is easy to speak of death in general, but what will we say when death will be at our door? May we be ready to go – to God!
I try to walk in the present by trying hard doing what I ought to do with love. I try to live today, now, this moment by being faithful to Jesus. “And now, O Lord, what do I wait for? My hope is in you” (Ps. 39:7).
I firmly believe in hope, my favorite virtue. What does it mean to hope? Theological hope “sees” the future, our future: “Eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has prepared for those who love him” (I Cor 2:9). To hope is to have a vision of the future and try to walk towards that vision, which is in front of us: God! Christian hope, which purifies and animates human hopes, is eschatological but also temporal: we journey towards the end from today. It concentrates on “today,” on the “present,” on “now” – God is the eternal now. The Zen master says it well: “The past is unreal, the future is unreal, only the moment is real. Life is a series of moments either lived or lost.” To live every moment well prepares us to live our last moment well, too.
My friends and my doctors advise me: Fausto, slow down! Retirement, when? I remember a text from novel Prize of Literature Camilo José Cela: “Retirement is one of the worst errors a man may commit.” The great Pablo Casals said: “Work helps not to become old. Work and interest for the things that are worthy are the best remedy against aging.” So the journey of life continues, a journey of hope. Like the Psalmist, “I will hope continually” in God (Ps 71:14). I agree with my favorite priest writer who, a few months before his death at 60, wrote: “I am not afraid of death, but I am not in a hurry to go.” Anyway, God will provide!
NEVER STOP LEARNING
The art of aging consists in aging well. Old age is also a wonderful stage of life with its ups and downs, its joys and pains, its lights and shadows. It is the twilight zone: the sun has gone to sleep and wait for a new beginning, a new dawn (The Little Prince).
We seniors should always be on the way to learning more. I remember this lovely story in the life of Saint John XXIII. A high ranking diplomat asked the Pope: “Why is Your Holiness so keen in learning German in your old age?” John XXIII: “You see, from my predecessor I inherited some things, including love birds. Pope Pius XII enjoyed daily the company of the birds and also Sor Pasqualina, who took care of the birds. Both talked to the love birds in German. I have no other option than to learn German so that we can understand each other” (from Dolores Aleixandre).
What we – the senior citizens – ought to focus on more? On love. On God. “The longer you live, I think, the more you see it does not really matter very much what people think. The only thing that matters is what God thinks, because what God thinks is always right” (Fr Francisco del Rio OP). Personally, I focus a bit more on prayer life. Prayer is always most helpful. I try to be more compassionate, which includes almsgiving and forgiving. I ask God for forgiveness, for the grace to be hopeful and, therefore, to keep on trying to be a more faithful and creative disciple of Christ. I was happy to have read some days ago that writer Max Aub left this epitaph for his tomb: “I did what I could.” Mine? “He tried – always.” I love the Psalmist: “In old age, they will still bear fruit, will remain fresh and full of sap showing that the Lord is upright” (Ps 92:14-15). But, of course, failings abound! And hope that tomorrow will be better.
In the evening of February 28, 2013, the last day of Pope Benedict XVI as Pope at Castel Gandolfo said to those who came to bid him farewell: I am resigning as Pope for “the good of the Church and of the world.” He added: “I’m simply a pilgrim who begins the last stage of his pilgrimage on this earth… Let us go forward with the Lord for the good of the Church and of the world. Thank you.”
PRAYING HELPS – ALWAYS
At times, I recite inspiring biblical texts to uplift my spirit! “For even though the fig tree does not blossom. Nor fruit grow on the vine, even though the olive crop fail, and fields produce no harvest, even though flocks vanish from the folds, and stalls stand empty of cattle. Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, and exult in God my savior. The Lord my God is my strength. He makes me leap like the deer. He guides me to the high places” (Hab, 3: 17). “Now I am old, but ever since my youth I never saw an upright person abandoned, or the descendants of the upright forced to beg their bread” (Ps 37:25-26). “The Lord sustains them on their sickbed, in their illness you heal all their infirmities” (Ps 41).
The Risen Lord told Peter: “When you grow old you will stretch out your hands, and somebody else will put a belt round you and take you where you would rather not go” (Jn 21:18). I often pray the Psalm St Thomas Aquinas recited every evening: “O Lord, do not reject me now in old age; as my strength fails, forget me not” (Ps 71:9).
My favorite biblical text: “Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day” (II Cor 4:16). Later on in life, I might not be able to preach or teach or write. Then I hope to be able to say: “All I can do is pray!” (Ps 109:4).
I close with the words a dear and revered old person, Pope Francis, pronounced some weeks ago: “Pray that my old age be tranquil, religious, and fruitful, and also joyful.” May it be so for you, for me – for us!
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