O Clarim News Bureau (English)
Dear Father L.
I have a friend who I grew up with and am very close to. She confided to me a problem that she was involved in an illicit relationship. She’s single and involved with a married man. Both of us are Catholics. She goes to church when she has nothing to do, but I’m very serious about my faith. I began advising her to avoid the relationship. However, more recently, as I realized that she is committing grave sin, I find myself condemning her. Although I pray for her most of the time, I have avoided her and even spoken ill of her to others. This has caused others also to avoid her, and this has caused her so much humiliation. I felt guilty afterward because I know she is living in sin, and I should do something to help her.
A Guilty Friend
Dear Guilty Friend,
“Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7
This is a powerful line spoken by Jesus. The judgmental and condemning Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus who had apparently been caught “in the very act of committing adultery.” Was she a sinner? Yes, indeed she was. But this story is not so much about whether or not she was a sinner. It was about the attitude Jesus had toward sinners as compared to that held by the self-righteous, judgmental and condemning Pharisees.
First of all, let’s look at this woman in the Gospel. She was humiliated. She had committed sin, was caught, and was publicly presented to all as a sinner. How did she react? She didn’t resist. She didn’t remain in denial. She didn’t get angry. She didn’t fight back. Instead, she stood there humiliated, awaiting her punishment with a sorrowful heart.
Experiencing humiliation over one’s sins is a powerful experience that has the potential to bring forth true repentance. When we encounter someone who has sinned in a manifest way and is humiliated over their sin, we must treat them with compassion. Why? Because the dignity of the person always supersedes their sin. Every person is made in the image and likeness of God, and every person deserves our compassion. If one is obstinate and refuses to see their sin (such as in the case of the Pharisees), then an act of holy rebuke is necessary to help them repent. But when one experiences sorrow and, in this case, the added experience of humiliation, then they are ready for compassion.
By stating “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,” Jesus is not justifying her sin. Rather, He’s making it clear that no one holds the right of condemnation. No one. Not even the religious leaders. This is a hard teaching to live for many in our world today. It is commonplace for the headlines in the media to almost compulsively present us with the most sensational sins of others. We are constantly being tempted to be outraged at what this or that person has done. We easily shake our heads, condemn them, and treat them as if they were dirt. In fact, it seems that many people today see it as their duty to act as the “watchdogs” against every sin they can dig up against others.
Continue to pray for your friend. Ask her to see a priest so she may realize the grace she is losing by being involved in an illicit relationship and guide her towards repentance and the compassion of God.
Sincerely,
Father L.
Source of content: mycatholic.life
Letters are welcome at: OClarimEnglish2022@gmail.com
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